weedpar

5 Ways To Tell Your Parents That You Smoke Weed

So you want to tell you parents you smoke weed, but you don’t know how to? That’s fair. Been there. No matter what age you are, unless it’s just blatantly obvious that you parents are cool with it, it’s still kind of awkward to be like “Yo parents, I know as a kid you told me not to, but man…ya boy be blowing big kush. Like it’s really not a game. I gets high.”

Me personally, that’s kiiinda how it happened for me. Only, ummm..not as subtle. I was headed to my parents from The Grocery Store™ with a fresh sack of Dat Loudium in my pocket. I’m high as fuck, but the whole time I’m thinking “Yo remember to take that out of your pocket. Remember to take that out of your pocket.” What happens?

You: “You forgot to take it out of your pocket.”

Yup, you guessed right. I walked into my parents house with an eighth of skunkington in my right pocket. Gave my mom a hug with the right side, and then she goes “Aaaanddd you smell like smoke.” Up until this point, I’m fairly certain she knew that I smoked, but this was the first time it was just blatantly out there so I told her. Yeah, I smoke and I also get paid to write about it.

Chances are you’d prefer to not have a pocket full of goodies at your confession. For that reason, here are a few other ways to tell you parents that you enjoy a nice dose of THC every once in awhile:

1. Text

This is the most practical way. Just toss it out in a text and wait for the three dots to pop up. Just outta nowhere on a window hope into the family group chat with a “Hey, what are y’all doing?” Then when you get courtesy You?, hit them with a “Not shit, just smoking a blunt and chillin.” This gives you the power of disappearing if they start coming at you with crazy phone calls. But it’s already out there so next time you see them, the conversation is already warming up. Think of it as the appetizer before the entree.

2. Email a Dear John Letter

This is for everyone who wants to be taken seriously. Come at them with an email like a professional. Hit them with the To Whom It May Concern greeting, complete with a fire Thanks For Your Consideration signature. This right here says “Hey, i get high, but I’m still on top of my business.” Maybe even attach a resume of your cannabis career thus far: major in college; time in the industry; relevant experience, references; all of that.

3. Walk into Sunday Dinner with the red eye

This is for my people that want to say “Look, I smoke weed and you can’t do shit about it. This is me. This is who I am.” If you’re the type of person who likes to attack issues head-on, but you haven’t been able to do so with a parental cannabis confession for some reason, this is the method for you. Just walk into the crib/restaurant like a young Dank Lucas on your boss shit, and let it all out there. The message will be loud and clear: “Ya boy is high, are we thinking the calamari for starters or what?”

4. Hot Box Your Car then pick them up for lunch

This is for my passive-aggressive people. Hotboxing the whip then scooping up the rents for a club sandwich at McCalisters is a nice way of confessing. Cause if you don’t address the issue, they won’t. So you just wait for a comment about that smell then say “Well, I’ve been meaning to ask you…ya boy gets eights for $50, but if y’all wanna split something…” And if they don’t say anything, they’ll still talk about it amongst themselves which still gets the job done for you.

5. Start dressing like a stereotype

When you think pothead, the first image in your head is a person rocking Bob Marley tie-dye shirts, weed socks, and drug rug hoodies. I know I’m right because as soon as you see a stranger dressed as such, you automatically assume they’re high or know where to find that fire. Your parents are definitely no different. If you can’t bring yourself to straight jump out the window with I Smoke Weed tatted on your forehead, then try this silent approach. Grow your hair out, toss on a Rastafari wristband, and start talking about how y’all should take a family trip to Amsterdam. If that doesn’t work, then shit, you’ve got 4 other options listed above. Good luck, my friends.

weedstash

Top 10 Ultimate Weed Stash Hack

Maybe you have heard of a few or use these stash hacks yourself.

Maybe you have used similar stash hacks forever and didn’t realize others hadn’t. Whatever the case may be, here are the 10 best tricks in no specific order.

You need just the right amount of water.

Keeping weed at the optimal hydration level (about 55-65% relative humidity) can feel downright impossible. If left exposed to the open air, valuable terpenes are lost and flower will burn fast and hot. Overly dried flower also has the bad habit of crumbling into dust. Get it too wet and it won’t even smoke or worse yet, it could start to mold!
Once a stash has succumbed to things like molds, mildew, fungi or other pathogens, it is a complete loss. Don’t even be tempted to smoke the ones you “can’t see anything wrong with” if there is any evidence of corruption. The risks are simply too great to roll that dice. Drying out is an altogether different problem though.
Once a weed is dried out, it becomes harsh and burns up significantly faster. Nobody wants to smoke old, crumbly weed. We want sticky nugs that snap apart but slightly hold their shape when shoved in a bowl. Yet cannabis can be re-hydrated and return to being sticky. Many a stash has been saved by trying one of these following hacks. I have used all of them to keep my own stash in peak condition but each has its own time and place.

Citrus Boost!Lemon Skunk stash

Method: Take a small bit of citrus peel and stick it in with the weed. Must use real peels, extract doesn’t do the same.

Benefits: This hack infuses the citrus terpenes (like Limonene) into the cannabis. Since the peel has a high water content way higher than cannabis where cannabis should be at, it will rehydrate a dried out stash.

Drawbacks: Lemon peels rot. When they do, it creates the perfect breeding grounds for molds, fungi and other harmful pathogens. It can also over saturate cannabis of too much is added to a stash. This has the side effect of making the weed difficult to light and produce little smoke.

Q-Tip Quality!

Method: Simply wet a Q-tip (any cotton swab will work) and drop it in with the stash. Keep an eye on when it dries out so you can  reuse or replace the swab.
Benefits: This method preserves the unadulterated taste of pure cannabis. It also provides a low cost alternative (although way less cool) to getting a humidifier. Because swabs come sterile, mold issues are kept to a minimum if replaced often.
Drawbacks: Cotton swabs are disposable for a reason. Reusing swabs leads to cross contamination and can also be a breeding ground for mold, fungi and other pathogens.

Cotton Balled!landrace 2

Method: Similar to the Q-Tip method except that a moist cotton ball is taped to the top of the container. Reuse or replace once it dries out.
Benefits: Taping the cotton ball to the top of the container keeps it from coming in contact with the stash. This prevents cotton fibers from getting caught in the bud and limits cross contamination. Cotton balls also come sterile so there is no risk of additional contaminants being introduced to the stash.
Drawbacks: Replacing tape over and over can get to be a chore so it is tempting to simply reuse the cotton ball for extended periods. Doing so exposes the user to the same dangers of mold, fungi and pathogens through cross contamination.

You also need the right kind of storage.

Regardless if the stash comes from a legal dispensary, a guys basement or Snoop Dogg himself, you need somewhere to store it. In the old days, Ziplock baggies were the standard. Today, people can obtain legal cannabis from dispensaries that use medicine bottles. While the medicine bottle is mandated by many states for sales, they still suck for keeping a stash. Here are a few suggestions for ways to store weed that is better than the old Ziplock or medicine bottle.

Mason Jar Madness!

Method: this glass container is sold in most stores across the world. This is a simple glass vessel with threading that allows a metal ring and lid at the top. It is air/watertight, reusable and cheap.
Benefits: They comes in several sizes, produce and airtight and watertight seal, and are easy to store or obtain almost anywhere. In addition to that, they are easy to clean, don’t rust or otherwise break down over time.
Drawbacks: Glass is fragile and has a tendency to break when exposed to extreme temperature changes.

Divided Stash Storage!

Method: Use two different sized containers to store your stash. The first is a small “daily” jar that keeps what you typically consume in a day. The second is “the vault” where you store your remaining cannabis. Load bowls from the daily jar and only open the vault when needed.
Benefits: This method reduces stash moisture loss from cycling the air in the jar. It helps budget or regulate the amount of product consumed in a day. This method also helps maintain stash security by not advertizing you have a pound of weed every time you load a bowl.
Drawbacks: Unnecessary if you get a jar that is too small or don’t buy more than a day or two worth of product at a time. It also adds one more step to the smoking ritual.

Freeze!

Method: Take any amount of cannabis you don’t plan to use immediately and put it in the freezer in a sealed container. Freezer bags are commonly used for this method. Freezing the weed prevents loss of hydration over extended periods.
Benefits: People have stored weed in freezers/fridges for years and still had a pleasant experience. Freezing cannabis makes trichomes brittle and easy to break off for ice wax and other concentrates.
Drawbacks: Just like meat, weed can get freezer burn if it is not sealed correctly. Cannabis can also be exposed to many bacteria and other pathogens from decaying food nearby (I’m looking at you Strawberries!) so keep a tight lid on it. Frozen trichomes also break off much easier than at room temperature.

Silicone Serenity!

Method: Instead of glass or plastic, use a silicone container. There is a wide variety available online, at dispensaries or at head shops built to suit your needs.
Benefits: Silicone wont shatter/rip/shred/cut/melt under normal use. It is even safe to touch with a warm dab tool when frozen (just not a red hot tool). Wax and other concentrates can’t stick like they do to glass or plastic. They also come in a wide variety of colors and shapes.
Drawbacks: Can be very expensive, especially when getting something airtight and cool looking.

We have all had times when there isn’t enough to go around.

Sometimes there is more month than money and we are faced with some hard choices. Do you share what you have and possibly spend days without THC or keep it for yourself? These tips can help you make that decision without alienating yourself or getting caught holding out. Just don’t get mad if someone else uses these tips too. It’s just a matter of making the most of what you got.

Twice Smoked Weed!

Method: This requires that you can suspend you weed in the pipe itself (best with screened metal pipe). You store a nug in the middle of the pipe so that every hit has to pass over the nug before making it into the users mouth.
Benefits: The stored nug gets coated with a layer of resin (poor man’s wax) and therefore gets additional THC added to it. It also makes it easy to carry around a second bowl for personal use if you are limited on how much you can share.
Drawbacks: Your delicious weed gets coated in resin. The terpene profile is destroyed and if left for several days, the nug gets dried out. Can make smoking the stored bud feel really harsh.

Double Cup It!

Method: Using two soft drink cups (one small, the other medium) you place the stash in the bottom of the larger cup. Put a lid on the smaller cup and then place it inside the larger cup. It now looks like you simply have a medium drink.
Benefits: This method is almost undetectable without physically removing the lid or getting help from a canine. Larger cups also hold progressively larger quantities for those long road trips to base camp. Works especially well for stealthily moving concentrates
Drawbacks: Limited on size to about an eighth to a quarter ounce of flower. Also doesn’t provide an odor barrier by itself so additional precautions are needed if that bad is stanky.

Grind it!

Method: If you want to make a little bit go further, you can grind it. This is especially helpful with dense, tightly packed nugs. You can use a small chunk of herb as a screen to cover the bowl hole which prevents the ground material from being sucked through.
Benefits: Increased surface area makes weed burn better and produce denser and more flavorful smoke. It also increases the overall volume which can turn a single small nug  into two small bowls.
Drawbacks: It can be easy to suck it though the bottom of the bowl so a screen of some kind is needed. Ground product burns faster than solid nugs and dries out faster. Grinding also releases many of the terpenes trapped within a nug so don’t grind more than you are going to smoke in one sitting.
I hope these tips were helpful. Be sure to share them with friends if you liked them. I would love to know what tricks you use to keep your stash safe and in top condition. Thanks for reading.

songs

20 Great Songs to Smoke To

Music is one of those things that makes life worth living… and lighting up some sweet, skunky herb just makes it even better. A little weed can make even the worst song sound decent — and it can make a really good song sound downright amazing.
I know why you’re here. You’re in the mood to get high, kick back, and listen to some tunes… but you’ve listened to all your albums a hundred times. Radio is shit. And you’ve worn out all your favorite Pandora stations. You need some inspiration, fresh ideas, new material. You need some new songs to smoke to!
I got you.
I’ve put together this eclectic list of tracks, any of which would make the perfect soundtrack to your next smoke out. Unlike most other lists, these songs aren’t necessarily about smoking weed — they’re just excellent to listen to while you do. They’re pulled from all different genres, from jazz to country, hip-hip to stoner rock, so there should be a little something for everyone.
Some are classics, some are fairly obscure. Some are funky and upbeat, others mellow. Some are funny, some are heavy. Some feature brilliant, mind-blowing lyrics. Others are lush instrumental or electronic soundscapes; sonic oceans in which to immerse yourself, close your eyes, and drift away…
All of them are masterpieces in their own right. If you find even one song on this list that you haven’t heard — and really listened to — before, then do yourself a favor…
Get out your headphones and your best sticky-icky. Dim the lights, light up, breathe deep, and enjoy 🙂
 
1. Tame Impala — “Let It Happen”

Haunting vocals and a smooth beat. This is a great song to help get the bowls loaded. It even has just enough pep to keep things going after you surrender to the soundscape.
2. The Glitch Mob — “Starve the Ego, Feed the Soul”

Harkening back to the easy listening of the flower children, this is smooth electronic. Just enough variation to keep your mind right and has those floaty vibes that just make you want to dance.
3. Marian Hill – “Got It”

With a slow but strong baseline, Marian shows off her smoky and sultry voice. This track will wind its way into your brain like the THC coursing through your body. This is what I imagine a bong would say if it could talk.
4. Mos Def — “Sunshine”

This will hit you right in the feels. This song feels like a memorial of times past and will make any stoner  look for the sunshine.
5. Jimi Hendrix — “May This Be Love?”

The perfect pairing with a bong and some good indica. Jimi is a music legend and this is one of his best works. You can just feel the pressures of life roll off your back as this tune plays.
6. Return to Forever — “Earth Juice”

Coming straight out of the 70’s and full of electronic and synth sounds. This instrumental is perfect to have playing in the background while smoking with a friend. Good for keeping the conversation flowing.
7. Herbie Hancock — “Bubbles”

Sometimes you just want to snuggle up with your lover and roast a bowl before getting down on some hot love making. This is the perfect song to set a romantic mood.
8. Outkast — “Elevators (Me & You)”

Does weed make you slow down? This song feels like some good indica rolling over you. Solid lyrics and an R&B feel celebrating smoking weed and overcoming difficulty with the family.
9. Kendrick Lamar (ft. Gunplay) — “Cartoons & Cereal”

Don’t let the name fool you, this is an adult song. Hard hitting and dark at times, this is solid and intelligent rap. Kendrick brings the fire and smokes the competition with this one.
10. Stephen Marley — “Inna Di Red”

We all know Bob but have you heard his son? The legend lives on with this Marley masterpiece. This is Rasta as it should be.
11. The Beatles — “It’s All Too Much”

What stoner playlist would be complete without at least one entry from the Fab Four? This lighthearted track is one of the best for lighting up to. Lighthearted and full of cannabis references, it shows why they have remained so popular.
12. Band of Horses — “Blue Beard”

Slow and dreamy, this is perfect for curling up with a bowl and watch the snow fall. Great for reminiscing with old friends. It swells over you like a tide, gentle but insistent.
13. Afroman — “Because I got High”

We have all had work we know needs done but decided to put it off for later. Most of the time, our inner conscience (or outer repercussions) gets the better of us and we make it happen. Afroman accurately describes the results of following our inner slacker.
14. Sturgill Simpson — “Turtles All the Way Down”

This country tune is just right for relaxing and enjoying a sweet smoke after a hard day or dealing with haters. Those times when our patience is tested, we need this song mixed with a fat sack and a fresh pipe. Sit back, light up and embrace the sweet release.
15. Chet Atkins & Mark Knopfler — “Cosmic Square Dance”

This mostly instrumental soundscape is great with the lights off. Sit back and enjoy the cosmic trip through your mind as this energetic country tune plays. The rhythm is great for timing hits as well.
16. TAUK — “Mindshift”

This is electronica mixed with lounge music. Has a touch of jazz, techno and lots of soul. Just let that haunting guitar roll over you as the synth massages your eardrums.
17. The Mars Volta — Roulette Dares (The Haunt of)

Sometimes you just want to rage with a splif in hand. This punk song is just the right thing when the world seems overwhelming. Sometimes the best things in life are messy.
18. Down — “Nothing In Return”

This song really nails the hard rock vibe. The slow vocals offset the heavy bass and screaming guitar nicely. Just slow enough to be haunting but fast enough to be threatening. This song broods itself to greatness.
19. KOAN Sound — “Lost in Thought”

Sometimes you need to simply center yourself. This cosmic soundscape takes you through the universe at light speed. The slow rolling tones and keyboard/piano element combine to deliver track to really let your mind soar to new places.
20. John Coltrane — “In A Sentimental Mood”

We are going to finish this off with a nice jazz song. This tune carries all the glamour and mystery of a 1920’s speak easy. The smoky sax and lilting piano pair perfectly with a dab rig and some live resin. Life is short my friends, enjoy the good things.