STONER SMOOTHIES

Stoner Smoothies

Here are a few of my favorite smoothie recipes, altered to make your cannabis experience fresh, frozen, or drinkable. These will only really work if you use coconut oil-based cannabutter, since cream or dairy butter would be pretty nasty. It will incorporate best softened but not melted, and added in as scoops.

Extras: plant protein powder, mushroom powder blends, tea pollen, chia seeds, flax seeds

Each recipe should make either 1 large smoothie, or fill two 16 oz glasses.

THE RAW CBD (Choco-Banana-Dank)

2 or more tbs raw cacao powder

2 bananas

half an avocado

1 tbs almond butter

maple syrup or 2 pitted dates to sweeten

1/4 tsp cinnamon

1 tbs CBD oil

2 tbs canna-oil

soy, almond, or other nut milk

Blend all ingredients in blender until smooth. This smoothie is thick, very filling, and very chocolatey depending on how much cacao powder you add. For an easier drink, add more milk. You could also swap cinnamon for nutmeg, or protein powder, some lucuma powder, or another favorite add-in.

CBD (cannabidiol), for those unfamiliar, is one of the non psychoactive cannabinoids found in cannabis. From the Bluebird Botanicals website, where you can learn all about and purchase various CBD oils:

“Cannabidiol (CBD) is a naturally occurring constituent of agricultural hemp. It is the most abundant non-psychoactive cannabinoid in hemp/cannabis, and is commonly used as a food supplement to support general wellness.† Our CBD products are made from the highest quality, EU-certified hemp cultivars, which are grown in pristine soil in select European locations. Our CBD oils are constantly analyzed for their potency and purity from potential contaminants.”

Because it’s hemp-derived, the sale of CBD in the US is 100% legal, and Bluebird Botanicals ships anywhere in the US. In an upcoming review, I’ll speak more in-depth about BBB and a few of their products, as well as my experience in taking CBD oil.

But for now, a few benefits to consuming CBD:

-It contains essential amino acids, B, D, and E vitamins, and loads of trace minerals

-Improves flexibility, hair, skin & nails with essential fatty acids, Omega-3 and Omega-6 (note: the ratio of Omega-6 and Omega-3 in Americans is 10:1 or even 30:1 –way too high. Both work to produce anti-inflammatory proteins, but a 1:1 balance is needed to synthesize properly and effectively. Up your O3 intake with flaxseed [milled/ground/oil], chia seeds, walnuts, marine algae-based sources, or hemp oil.)

-Contains terpenes and flavonoids, which very basically affect smell and taste receptors.

Terpenes work both with taste and aroma in the plant or organic matter–in cannabis, they create the diverse perfume/scent profiles of each strain. Flavonoids give plants their pigmentation and in some cases, inhibit plant disease and infection, reduce inflammation and cholesterol, and have anti-cancer properties. Red, blue, purple, and yellow foods all contain anti-oxidants and most all foods contain flavonoids, and increasing consumption of color-rich foods like berries or dark chocolate could yield great benefit.

STRAWBERRY BANANA BLITZ

1 cup strawberries

2 bananas

1/2 cup dark or tart cherries

1/2 raspberries

1 or 2 cups orange or apple juice

2 tbs canna-oil

A puckered take on a sweet favorite. Blend together, use all fresh fruit for high fiber and store-bought consistency, or use frozen fruit for a smoothie more thick and slushy-like.

RAINBOW DREAM

cherries

raspberries

mango

orange juice

pineapple

banana

kale

honeydew melon

blueberries

blackberries

2 tbs canna-oil

Use apple or orange juice, since milk might cause some interesting flavor interaction. The basic idea is to include 1-2 fruits/veg of each color. In fact, the more colors in food in a day you can consume, the better! Like I said in the CBD smoothie recipe, richer colors means richer benefits. And, if you can, source organically & cruelty free.

A combination of fresh/frozen is best. You can make frozen fruit out of fresh fruit–just wash, slice, and lay out on wax paper & a baking sheet or silicone mat in the freezer until solid. Store chunks of fruit in tupperware or plastic bags. To make adding kale to smoothies way easier, do something similar–wash and cut up some fresh kale, let freeze in small piles or pack into an empty ice cube tray, then store once frozen.

COCONUT KALE AÇAI

kale

frozen açai berries or puree

full-fat coconut milk

coconut water

frozen mixed berries

canna-oil

For this smoothie, I’d recommend using some frozen kale, unless you’ve got a high-powered blender that can cut up leafy greens well. Otherwise blend 1/2 can coconut milk, 2 chunks of kale, a cup of açai berries or a puree packet, a handful of frozen mixed berries, canna-oil and coconut water as needed for desired consistency.

Sambazon ™ do 4 packs of frozen açai berry puree, sweetened or unsweetened. Fresh berries are harder to find unless you’ve got a bangin’ farmer’s market or specialty shops, so hit up the frozen section on your next food trip and see what they’ve got.

image credit: thestonerscookbook.com

Poppyweed cake

Lemon Poppyweed Cake (or Bars)

Makes about 16 bars or 1 loaf, sliced however you please.

What You Need

-2 cups oat flour (or a blend of oat + almond, coconut, or rice flour)

-3 tbs milled flaxseed + 6 tbs non-dairy milk

-1 tsp baking powder

-2 tbs chia seeds

-3 tbs poppy seeds

-AVB (already vaped bud, if you want a boost)

-1/3 cup shredded or flaked coconut

-2 tbs powdered coconut sugar (blitz regular coconut sugar in a spice grinder)

-1/3 cup cannabutter, melted

-1/3 cup unsweetened applesauce

-1 banana

-juice from 2 lemons

-2-3 tbs lemon zest

-1 tbs orange zest

-sea salt

-coconut oil for greasing

-spatula

-hand or stand mixer & bowl

-9 x 9 baking dish or small loaf pan

toppings: coconut sugar & lemon juice, frosting, cashew cream, candied lemon peel (see notes for a few how-tos)

Directions

1. Preheat an oven (it should probably be your oven) to 350ºF. Grease either a baking dish or loaf pan. In a small bowl, combine flax + milk, chia seeds, and poppy seeds, and set aside. Zest one and juice both the lemons and zest an orange, separating juice and zest. Only a little is needed, so lay out the leftover orange zest to dry & have it for future use!

2a. If using a hand mixer: In a large bowl, stir together flour, coconut, citrus zest, baking powder, coconut sugar and salt, and AVB (already vaped bud) if desired. Stir in applesauce, lemon juice, and cannabutter with a spatula, then blend in the banana and flax/chia/poppy with the hand mixer.

2b. If using a stand mixer: Add all above ingredients & blend. The ending texture should be between a batter and a dough–not too gooey, not too stiff. If it’s too stiff, add sips of water or milk until the mix is slightly sticky. Too wet, add pinches of flour until sticky.

3. Transfer dough to baking dish or loaf pan. Press it down with the spatula to remove any air bubbles, and smooth over the top. Bake uncovered for 25-30 mins, or until golden brown & the edges start to pull away. When cool, top, slice, and serve.

Optional Toptionals

Sugar & Lemon: 10 mins before cake is finished, drizzle lemon juice and sugar over the top to form a sweet, crunchy crust.

Frosting: Whip either softened canna butter (if made with coconut oil), some soy yogurt, or full-fat coconut milk with a splash of vanilla extract and powdered sugar until thick & spreadable.

Cashew Cream: Soak 1/2 cup raw unsalted cashews in hot water for 30 mins, then blend with 1 tbs vanilla extract, a pinch or two of orange zest, and a shake of salt until creamy. Chill in the fridge before use, stores up to 1 week.

Candied Lemon Peel: If you’re the type to read the whole recipe before executing, great! If not, hope you didn’t throw away the juiced lemons. Grab that unzested lemon peel and remove as much of the white pith as you can. Cut the rind into strips, then gently boil in sugar water until translucent. Toss in sugar and let dry on wax paper.

Lemon poppyseed cake is one of my most favorite baked treats, since it’s delicious as muffins, squares, or fistfuls. It’s tangy, moist, versatile, and now it can get you stoned! The combination of applesauce and banana binds and provides the perfect springy texture, poppy and chia seeds give it crunch, and the bud brings the buzz. 🙂

image credit: weedchefs.com

mad dream marijuana

Mad Dream Strain Review

There’s a new cannabis strain called Mad Dream, a mix between the popular hybrids Blue Dream and Mad Dawg.
Blue Dream is a sativa-dominate hybrid. It has become one of the most widely consumed and critically acclaimed strains available, and for good reason. The mix of Blueberry and Haze is the perfect combination of full body relaxation without the overwhelming kick of certain indica strains.
Mad Dawg is an impressive hybrid in it’s own right. Another sativa dominant strain, Mad Dawg is a mix of Starfighter and Lemon Alien Dawg.
Mix the two together, and the result is glorious!
I was able to pick this strain up from Green Leaf Therapy, located in the Northwest Cannabis Market in White Center, Washington. Immediately noticeable is the strain’s beautiful exterior, brimming with crystals.
The smell was less sweet than I expected, but was still entirely pleasant, with a great earthy note that reminded me a little of standing in a heavily wooded forest. When you break the bud apart, however, you can smell a subtle hint of the Blueberry passed along from the Blue Dream.
The taste is almost identical to the smell; earthy, with a perfectly sweet backdrop.
The strain immediately brings forth a nice, heady high, and sends a warm feeling of relaxation through your whole body. Few strains are as well suited as this one for taking a few tokes, and sitting back and watching some movies, reading a book or even getting some work done. Although the strain perfectly relaxes you, it doesn’t make you drowsy.
I did find that the strain gave me the munchies more than most. Which could make it perfect for those wanting to stimulate their appetite.
Overall, Mad Dream is a wonderful combination of two great strains, and one that comes highly recommended.