Top 25 Weed Jokes from around the Web

Weed and laughing go hand in hand, so weed and jokes should be a perfect combination. We’ve compiled a list of our favorite 25 weed jokes found across the web in 2016. Take a hit of some euphoric sativa and have you a good laugh while you read these jokes:

  1. What do you get when you eat marijuana?
    A pot belly.
  2. What do you call a homie holding two jays?
    Double Jointed
  3. How do you know you’re a real stoner?
    You clean bongs more than dishes.
  4. What do you call money that grows on trees?
  5. What does a fish party need?
    Seaweed/Reefer.
  6. When is national drug test day?
    April 21st. (4/21)
  7. If there two potheads are in the back of a car, who’s driving?
    A police officer.
  8. Why couldn’t the lifeguard rescue the hippy?
    because he was too far out, man.
  9. What does Wheel of Fortune and a pot pusher have in common?
    They both want $250 for an O.
  10. What is the only test a stoner studies for?
    A drug test.
  11. Did you hear about the kid who died from weed?
    Neither did I.
  12. Something to think about today. It all makes sense now. Gay marriage and marijuana being legalized on the same day. Leviticus 20:13 – “if a man lays with another man, as with a woman, he should be stoned.” We finally know what that meant.
  13. What did the frog say when he passed the bong to his frog friend?
  14. I told my doctor I was having problems with my joints, he told me to roll them tighter.
  15. Someone passed shaggy a baggy so he can roll Scooby a doobie.
  16. A cop stops a stoner and says “your eyes are red, have you been smoking weed?” and the stoner replied, “your eyes are glazed, have you been eating donuts?”
  17. What’s the difference between a drunk and a stoner?
    The drunk will run a stop sign, the stoner will wait for it to turn green.
  18. If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, there would be world peace for at least two hours… Followed by a global food shortage.
  19. One time I was about to smoke weed with a Mexican girl. I forgot my bowl at home so I asked her if she had any papers on her and she immediately ran off…
  20. I call my weed the Quran… cause burning it will get you stoned.
  21. I still don’t understand why smoking weed makes you a criminal… When I smoke it the only thing I a threat to is cake.
  22. What type of weed do reptiles smoke?
  23. I wish my grades would smoke weed too so we could both get higher.
  24. They had to name the offense “possession of marijuana” because “joint custody” was already being used.
  25. You can’t buy happiness but you can buy weed… and that’s pretty close.
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