Weed and laughing go hand in hand, so weed and jokes should be a perfect combination. We’ve compiled a list of our favorite 25 weed jokes found across the web in 2016. Take a hit of some euphoric sativa and have you a good laugh while you read these jokes:
- What do you get when you eat marijuana?
A pot belly.
- What do you call a homie holding two jays?
- How do you know you’re a real stoner?
You clean bongs more than dishes.
- What do you call money that grows on trees?
- What does a fish party need?
- When is national drug test day?
April 21st. (4/21)
- If there two potheads are in the back of a car, who’s driving?
A police officer.
- Why couldn’t the lifeguard rescue the hippy?
because he was too far out, man.
- What does Wheel of Fortune and a pot pusher have in common?
They both want $250 for an O.
- What is the only test a stoner studies for?
A drug test.
- Did you hear about the kid who died from weed?
Neither did I.
- Something to think about today. It all makes sense now. Gay marriage and marijuana being legalized on the same day. Leviticus 20:13 – “if a man lays with another man, as with a woman, he should be stoned.” We finally know what that meant.
- What did the frog say when he passed the bong to his frog friend?
- I told my doctor I was having problems with my joints, he told me to roll them tighter.
- Someone passed shaggy a baggy so he can roll Scooby a doobie.
- A cop stops a stoner and says “your eyes are red, have you been smoking weed?” and the stoner replied, “your eyes are glazed, have you been eating donuts?”
- What’s the difference between a drunk and a stoner?
The drunk will run a stop sign, the stoner will wait for it to turn green.
- If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, there would be world peace for at least two hours… Followed by a global food shortage.
- One time I was about to smoke weed with a Mexican girl. I forgot my bowl at home so I asked her if she had any papers on her and she immediately ran off…
- I call my weed the Quran… cause burning it will get you stoned.
- I still don’t understand why smoking weed makes you a criminal… When I smoke it the only thing I a threat to is cake.
- What type of weed do reptiles smoke?
- I wish my grades would smoke weed too so we could both get higher.
- They had to name the offense “possession of marijuana” because “joint custody” was already being used.
- You can’t buy happiness but you can buy weed… and that’s pretty close.